Posted by: Lister | December 27, 2007

When Mayan rebirthing just isn’t mad enough

Mark Steel’s article aims at Blair. The inspiration is Tony’s conversion, so Catholicism gets a bit singed in the process — but that’s collateral damage for you!

The Vatican will have to be careful. He’s probably planning to stand for Pope, then announce that if they’re to succeed in the modern age, they’ll have to discard outdated ideas of us and them, and learn to embrace the devil. “This is the way forward for New Catholicism,” he’ll insist, upsetting Old Catholics when he spends two free weeks in Satan’s holiday home.

[…] In any case, the Vatican haven’t thought this through. Because Jesus appears to have been a determined opponent of the wealthy, and the world’s major empire, to the extent that he was crucified. Whereas “determined opposition to the wealthy and the world’s major empire” isn’t always the phrase that springs to mind when you think of Blair. So maybe Blair’s misunderstood the whole thing, and thinks the reason every Catholic Church has a Jesus on a cross is it’s their way of saying: “Anyone else thinking of proposing we throw the moneylenders out of the temple and that’s what will happen to you.”

[…] But now he’s calmed down and taken his vows to be part of the Catholic Church, although to be fair its history probably does trouble him a bit. He must look at the role of the Inquisition and think: “How awful. They should have broken up that state monopoly and attracted business investment to create a truly excellent torture service. A PFI system involving Jarvis and Balfour Beatty would have provided thumbscrews in every village and pliers for every priest. I have so much to teach these people.”


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