Posted by: Lister | February 18, 2008

Old Maths and a Religious Debate

While I’m in the mood for humour, I’ll also post this, from Stuart’s Short Trousers:

Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, “What is three times three”?

“274″ was the reply.

The doctor says to the second man “It’s your turn. What is three times three”?

“Tuesday” replies the second man.

The doctor says to the third man, “OK, Your turn. What’s three times three”?

“Nine” says the third man.

“That’s great” says the doctor. “How did you get that”?

“Simple” says the third man. “I subtracted 274 from Tuesday.”

And this one.
The Meeting:

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy.

There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy. If the Pope won, they would have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and Rabbi sat opposite each other, however, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a “silent” debate.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head. The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. The Rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that the Pope stood up and declared that he was beaten, and that the Rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy .

Later the Cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened?

The Pope said, “First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.

Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

I pulled out the wine and water, to show that God absolves us of all our sins He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.

He had beaten me at every move and I could not continue.

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi, how he had won?

“I haven’t a clue” said the Rabbi. First he said to me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger.

Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews, and I said to him that we were staying right here.

“And then what?” asked a woman.

“Who knows?” said the Rabbi. “He took out his lunch so I took out mine.”

OK, one more.
Grave Humour, from tombstones:

Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
Only the Good Die Young.

Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me for not rising.

Enough funnies.
Back to grumpy old politics.

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